I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
