The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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