Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
3 2 1 whiskey
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
