He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
