I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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