I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
