Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Life is so much better after having sex.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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