He is an equal opportunity slut.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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