the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
