alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
