I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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