So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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