Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Im part way to drunk.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
