Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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