Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
