After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
