my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
