ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize