he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
