i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
