I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
