I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
