Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
