just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
