You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
