he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
