Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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