When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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