I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
