Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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