before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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