I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I said "one day" and that day is not today
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
