just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
