No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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