Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
