Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
