I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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