That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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