When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
