My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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