Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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