The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
