I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
