Got a toothbrush?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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