I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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