it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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