im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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