Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize