Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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