Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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