Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
