With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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