I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
