WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
