I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
