he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
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