I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
