I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
