I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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