the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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