this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
