Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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