hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
